


The Subtle Joys of Interior Decorating

by deliriumbubbles



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 18:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11386056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliriumbubbles/pseuds/deliriumbubbles
Summary: After a long rift in their relationship, Lex and Clark have come together at last, but domestic bliss isn’t always happily ever after. Lex moving into Clark’s place is unacceptable. Clark moving into Lex’s place… is going to mean some changes for both. Guest starring Augustine the Hairless and Wonton-El.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some blending between Smallville canon (S1-3) and general comics canon.

 “Ma, stop crying.” Clark set down a box in the doorway and walked over to hug his mother. “You knew I’d be moving into a bigger place eventually.”  
  
“Isn’t this awful fast to move in, son?” Jonathan narrowed his eyes behind his thick bifocals. “You need to think things through. Give it some time.”  
  
“Some time to fall apart.” Clark finished. He sighed and released his mother, but kept a hand on her shoulder. “Lex and I have known each other for fourteen years. We’ve been dating almost a year now. I don’t think that’s too soon.”  
  
“Yeah, and you’ve been bitter enemies for how long o’that time? I don’t buy this turn around.” The aging man crossed his arms stubbornly. “I wish you’d think about this some. Y’never went after a guy before Lex…”  
  
“And I never went after a girl before Lana. I’m not human, Pa. I don’t really understand why it’s such a big deal for me to date another gender and not another species.”  
  
“Hon, we just want you to be happy.” Martha gave a little sigh. She waved her hand and took a tissue to dab her eyes. “Oh, Clark. Moving the rest of your stuff out makes it feel like you’re never coming back.”  
  
Jonathan wrapped his arms around his wife, quietly supporting her. “You can always come back here. You know that?”  
  
“I’m _fine_.” Clark picked up his box and took the box his father had been carrying in his other hand easily. “Lex isn’t going to hurt me. I’ll be back for dinner on Sunday like we talked about-“  
  
“Will _he_ be coming?” Jonathan demanded. Clark rolled his eyes.  
  
“Lex doesn’t feel welcome here. I can’t imagine why.”  
  
“Clark-“  
  
“He didn’t say anything negative about you. He just said that I should take the opportunity to ‘spend some idyllic quality time with the family and assure them I have not coerced their dear boy scout to the dark side against his super-will.’” He enunciated the last words, drawing out the vowels and opening his mouth wide in an impression of Lex that made his father grin a little. Clark zipped outside, set the boxes in his car and returned just as quickly. “I’d like Lex to be able to come to dinner with us someday without feeling like you guys are judging him.”  
  
Martha wrung her hands. “Are you going now? Can you stay for some coffee? I have a pie baking?”  
  
“You’re just trying to delay me. It’s a long drive, Ma. You’ll still see me. You’ll see so much of me you’ll get sick of me.”  
  
“That’s not possible, hon.” She sniffed. “Oh, my boy is all grown. Finally moving in with someone.”  
  
“Someone.” Jonathan muttered under his breath. Martha regained her wits and smacked his arm.  
  
”Stop. This isn’t our decision to make.” Her mouth quivered, as though she were about to cry again. “Tell… oh….”  
  
“Ma, it’s okay. Please stop crying?”  
  
“I’m your mother! I’m supposed to be upset when you go out on your own.”  
  
“You didn’t cry when I went to MetU.”  
  
“Yeah, well that apartment y’ve been livin in…” Jonathan shared a smile with his wife. “We kinda knew you’d be back on weekends to wash your clothes and get a meal.”  
  
“Living in Lex’s penthouse, I don’t think you need me anymore,” Martha whispered.  
  
“Would it make you feel better if I brought you some dirty clothes every once and awhile?” Clark joked. His cell rang with Vivace. “Oh, that’s Lex. Hold on.”  
  
“Can’t let Clark on his own for a moment,” Jonathan complained.  
  
Clark rubbed his mother’s arm as he answered and gave his father a stern look. “Lex, I-“  
  
_”Take the pie.”_  
  
“What?” Clark sounded so incredulous that his parents looked concerned. He scanned the room for surveillance devices.  
  
_”Your mother is anxious about you moving out the rest of your things, right? And she baked something. Probably pie, or perhaps cookies and is asking you to stay awhile with her. Take it. Stay with her.”_  
  
“Uh… did you bug my house?”  
  
_”No, I just know your mother. She’s upset. She bakes. Comfort her a little.”_  
  
“Are you sure? It means I won’t get home until after you’re in bed. And you’ll be alone at the house all night.”  
  
_”I doubt it. I’m not at the penthouse. I’m at the office.”_  
  
“The office? Are you serious?” Clark’s voice raised in pitch a little angrily. “You’ve been there since yesterday morning! You said you’d go home at lunch!”  
  
_”I said I’d go home. And I did. And now I’m back. Take the pie. I won’t be alone.”_  
  
“You need some sleep. I’m suspecting that you won’t get any unless I fly over there and put you in bed myself.”  
  
_”Kinky.”_  
  
“I’m serious!”  
  
Lex sighed audibly. _”Call me when you’re almost back in town. I’ll come home then, okay? Just do me a favor and comfort your mother, alright? She needs it, and they hate me enough as it is.”_  
  
Clark spoke softly. “They don’t hate you, babe.”  
  
_”You’ve never been a good liar. Call me?”_  
  
Clark paused and looked over to his parents. “Sure. I’ll call. If you get a break, though, please head home. Hm? I’m staring to worry that you actually live in the office.”  
  
Lex laughed. _”Well, I’m starting to agree with you. God, I can’t wait for this deal to go through.”_  
  
“You and me both. Love you. Bye.”  
  
_”Bye.”_  
  
“Clark, sweetie, we do _not_ hate Lex!” Martha protested as soon as he’d ended the call.  
  
“Yeah, I can’t really convince him of that. I’ve been trying. He called to tell me to stay for whatever baked good you had for me and to be a good son and comfort you.”  
  
Martha gave a warm smile and reached for Clark’s arm. “Things will work out. There’s been a lot of pain between all of us, but Lex has a good heart. He doesn’t always know what’s best to do, but none of us do, really.”  
  
Jonathan followed them with a closed look. After Martha had poured the coffee, he began to serve the pie and asked, “Does Lex work like that all the time?”  
  
“Lex never stops working.” Clark stirred his coffee. “Ah… heh. Neither do I, actually.”  
  
“So are you going to mostly be living alone there?”  
  
“What? Oh, no, Lex usually goes in to the office for meetings, but he does a lot of work in his office at home. He usually doesn’t like to leave Auggie alone for that long.”  
  
Jonathan frowned. “Auggie?”  
  
Clark pursed his lips and cut into his pie. “Augustine the Hairless. Lex’s _cat_. … I _know_. He has to get in good with you guys, and I have to get in good with the hairless king of the world.”  
  
“Lex?” Martha asked, confused.  
  
“The _cat_ is hairless?” Jonathan curled his lip in disgust.  
  
“It’s a devil. And it hates me.” Clark shook his head. “If Lex won’t come home when I get to the office, I’ll tell him Auggie misses him. I’m sure it’s true. That beast won’t eat if Lex isn’t there.”  
  
“How’s he going to react to…?”  
  
“My _dog_ with his _cat_? Who knows.” Clark rolled his shoulders and tried not to think what would happen when Auggie met his new roommate.  
  


***

  
  
Just as Clark had suspected, despite promising when he called to come home, Lex still wasn’t at the penthouse when he arrived. He assured the butler Domovoi that he would be able to get the final boxes himself and left them stranded in the foyer with the other piles of his stuff to be moved in and somehow integrated in this pristine palace. Clark walked into the room with his final boxes and slowly surveyed what was to be his new home. Wide, black eyes bore into him, catching him off guard and causing him to stumble backward.  
  
Augustine the Hairless was perched regally atop his boxes, glaring at him as though he were an intruder.  
  
“Uh, hey Auggie.” Clark put down the box and shut the door. Tentatively he reached over to let the cat sniff his hand. Augustine was completely hairless, but his coloring was a blue black, and his eyes were light-absorbing pits of death. Augustine tilted his head, considering the situation, then leaned forward to sniff Clark’s hand. Clark wished he’d brought some treat for him. Auggie turned his nose up disdainfully. At least he hadn’t hissed and swiped at him, the way he usually did. Especially when he caught him fooling around with Lex.  
  
Clark knew that it was ridiculous for Superman to have so much trepidation around a naked, neutered animal with Soft Paws and a heart murmur, but that thing still made him nervous. Especially since it was likely he might say something about how uncanny the creature was and offend Lex. He’d done it before.  
  
“Come here you ugly thing,” Clark had teased Auggie one day when he had begun to just hang out around Lex’s penthouse between work and his duties with the League. Lex had looked up from his laptop with an arched brow.  
  
“Do you really expect anyone to come to you if you call them ugly?” he’d asked in an even, disinterested tone.  
  
“Come on. You have to admit it’s weird. He’s bald. It’s kinda freaky,” Clark had replied without thinking.  
  
“Of course it is,” Lex clipped. He’d set his laptop aside and in one motion, scooped his hairless baby up into his arms protectively and turned away from Clark.  
  
Clark had been able to feel the ice for the next three days.  
  
“Has he eaten?” Clark asked Domovoi when the man came into the room.  
  
“I put his food down. He simply yowls at me, as though complaining that I am not Mr. Luthor.”  
  
“I’ll go get him. He’s probably caught up in work.”  
  
“It would be much appreciated. We’re starting to place bets on whether you’ll be the new master of the house and the rest of us will merely be relocated to the LexCorp building.”  
  
Clark chuckled and walked out to the balcony. Either Lex would be driving home, or he’d be flying home.  
  


***

  
  
Lex wasn’t sure how long Clark had been watching him from the window. He was pretty sure that before they’d started dating, Superman had been playing Peeping Tom on him in this office often enough to warrant some kind of police charges. All he knew was that he’d been working with the lights dimmed for hours and suddenly while pacing around his desk trying to think of some way out of this mess his _ex_ -employees had created for him he’d caught a glimpse of _someone_ outside and jumped so hard he’d almost fallen over.  
  
And of course, that bastard Clark started laughing as Lex put his hand to his chest, reeling from the shock.  
  
Lex regained his composure and stormed over to the window and unfastened the clasps to let Clark in. “For _fuck's_ sake, Clark!”  
  
Clark’s grinned so innocently it was hard not to forgive him immediately. Asshole.  
  
“You said you would come home.”  
  
“I know, I just want to finish this one thing.” Lex turned back to his laptop to point. Clark’s arms were around him and a hand was snaking across his crotch. “Oh.”  
  
“Oh,” Clark breathed against his neck.  
  
“Just… no… hang on, okay.”  
  
Clark pouted and refused to stop hugging him from behind. Lex started to close files then came along a proposal he’d meant to look at earlier.  
  
“Don’t even think about it,” Clark warned. Lex sighed.  
  
“This all has to be done.”  
  
“Yeah, but not all by you and not tonight.”  
  
Lex could feel the annoyance coming off of his boyfriend, and it was starting to make him feel guilty for not being home the night when Clark had finally moved in. They had been talking about this for two months. Fifty-three days, from Lex’s recollection. Lex hadn’t really let himself think about the possibility until Clark had brought it up. Or rather, hinted around that he spent so much time there he might as well start forwarding his mail.  
  
“Plus, Auggie won’t eat his dinner unless you come home.”  
  
Lex saved and closed the file and clicked on the shutdown icon. He missed Clark’s eye roll. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten?”  
  
“I ate…” Lex was now packing up the laptop and collecting a few things to work on at home when he felt up to tackling this mess again.  
  
“When?”  
  
Lex thought about it. “What time is it?”  
  
Clark sighed. “We can pick up some Chinese?”  
  
“Could do…” All packed up, Lex looked for his keys. “Or we could have them deliver it to the penthouse.”  
  
Clark reached over and plucked Lex’s keys out of the organized disarray on his desk. It was obviously a sign that Lex was incredibly busy right now, if everything in his personal space wasn’t in order. Lex took the keys, pocketed them, and took out his cell phone.  
  
Realizing how hard it would be for Lex to multitask one-handed, Clark took the briefcase and laptop from Lex so he wouldn’t have to ask Clark for help. Clark knew he hated to ask. Lex mouthed a thank you and began speaking in fluent Chinese into his phone.  
  
“How hungry are you?”  
  
“Not starving. My mom pushed pie on me three hours ago. I can eat, though.”  
  
Lex turned back to the phone and continued to order as they stepped into the elevator. Shortly after, he clicked it shut.  
  
“I really apologize. I meant to come home-“  
  
Clark cut him off by cupping Lex’s face in his large hand. “I know. I believe you. I just know sometimes you need someone to remind you that you’re human and you need a break and a personal life.”  
  
“Funny it would be you that reminds me of that,” Lex said dryly. Clark grinned.  
  
“I don’t think so. It’s you who reminds me.” He kissed him lightly on the lips. Lex kissed back and reached down for Clark’s belt buckle. “No… wait. We have a penthouse to christen.”  
  
Lex smirked. “That we do.”  
  
That didn’t stop him from teasing Clark in the car all the way home.  
  
Unfortunately, christening involved Lex falling asleep on him in the television room before the Chinese even arrived and Auggie curling up in Lex’s lap with a proprietary look at Clark.

  
Clark sighed in frustration and held out a shrimp for Auggie. The cat sniffed it and accepted the offering graciously. “What do you think, Aug? Should I wake daddy and make him eat?”  
  
Auggie’s ears rotated to the sides, and he began to lick one of his paws so that he could properly wash his face.  
  
“Crazy animal.” Clark trailed his fingers along Lex’s scalp, hoping that would wake him. “Babe? Food’s here.”  
  
“Brrroaw!” Auggie contributed loudly. He began to knead Lex’s leg, despite the plastic caps on his nails that prevented him from really digging in.  
  
“Mm?” Lex’s hand moved to softly stroke the cat’s skin. He looked up at Clark groggily. “Didn’t make it, did I?”  
  
“S‘okay. We’ve got some time to get the christening done. I just want to make sure you have a meal.”  
  
“I eat, you know. I do.” Lex tried to sit up a bit more. He was ensconced between Clark’s legs, and with Auggie on his lap, it was difficult to move much. “Can we just go to bed?”  
  
“Okay.” Clark planted a kiss on Lex’s head bump. “I’ll put the food in the refrigerator.”  
  
Lex pried Auggie from his lap. “Mmm. Breakfast. Come on, baby. Move it. I’m tired.”  
  
Clark tried to fight off a laugh. The cat did not want to be moved. He reached over to give a helping hand and Auggie favored him with a sharp hiss. “Okay, okay. I won’t touch you!”  
  
Lex kissed along the naked head of his cat and slipped his arms underneath Auggie’s sides, scooping him up a little bit before he simply stood and the cat slipped off onto the floor, glaring at him indignantly. “I told you to move. Do you want to come sleep with us?”  
  
Clark’s eyebrows raised high. “Sleep with us?”  
  
Lex turned. “If we’re going to be sleeping, then… yes?” He waited a few moments, watching Clark’s surprised face. “Is that okay? I promise to shut him out if we start anything, but I don’t think that’s happening tonight. I have a meeting tomorrow morning.”  
  
“I uh… sure. It’s fine.” Clark flushed a little bit. He stood and put a hand on Lex’s back, guiding him to the bedroom. This would be the first time Lex had ever let him _sleep_ with him. He didn’t really want to share him with a cat. He imagined that Auggie would somehow sprawl in the perfect way to keep him away from Lex. He left Lex to change into his nightclothes and moved the Chinese to the refrigerator. When he returned, Lex was already asleep in the huge king sized bed, sleeping adorably on his side in his black silk pajamas that made him blend into the black silk sheets. He didn’t see Auggie at first, but was pleased to see that he had decided to curl up under Lex’s arm, leaving Clark room to cuddle up behind him.  
  
He changed quickly and eased into the bed, scooting up close to Lex. Lex sighed softly in his sleep and stretched against Clark.  
  
Clark couldn’t stop smiling. This was perfect.  
  


***

  
  
“RAO DAMMIT!!”  
  
Clark moved back so hard the headboard cracked. Auggie tilted his head and looked at him as though he were certifiably insane.  
  
“What?” Lex shot up and blindly reached over to the end table, probably for his gun.  
  
“It okay. Just Satan giving me a wake up call.”  
  
Lex sat up and stared at Clark for more than a few minutes trying to figure out what he was talking about.  
  
“Cats watch you sleep. They watch you piss. It’s what they _do_ ,” Lex grumbled, throwing back the sheet and starting to get out of bed. Auggie settled on Clark’s crotch so that he couldn’t get up.  
  
“No, Lex, come back to bed! I’m sorry I woke you.”  
  
“I’m up in an hour anyway.” Lex motioned to the silver rimmed clock on the wall.  
  
“Are you going to take a shower?”  
  
“That would be a yes,” Lex said shortly, heading into the bathroom.  
  
“Uh…” Clark hesitated. It figured that Lex wasn’t a morning person, but what was that about?  
  
After about ten minutes, Auggie had decided to go bother someone else in the house, so Clark got up and headed to the bathroom with the intent of surprising Lex. He cracked the door silently, which hardly mattered since Lex had a version of _Dies Irae_ playing from somewhere. Having never been in Lex’s master bathroom before, he looked around and noted the huge tub separate from the shower. This bathroom was bigger than the room he’d grown up in. Blue and cream seemed to be the color scheme in this room. He walked up to the sink, which stretched almost across the wall and looked into the circular mirror. He drew his and Lex’s names intertwined in Kryptonian and added a few little hearts before he looked down at the items on the sink. His toothbrush, which he had only put there the night before, was lined up perfectly next to Lex’s electric toothbrush. He hadn’t heard anyone come in. Lex must have done it before he got in the shower. There was nothing for shaving. No hairbrushes or combs. It made sense, but Clark had never thought about it before. No shampoo. No trimmers. Several face care products that Clark wasn’t even sure, really, what they _did_. His bathroom stuff would look so odd in here.  
  
Then he saw the black object on the sink… Clark’s brows raised when he realized it was Lex’s fake hand. Before he knew it, Clark had picked it up and was looking at the thing. His chest tightened, remembering Lex’s pale face, his dry lips… he’d come so close to losing him because of the cancer. Because of the Kryptonite. Because Lex had felt the need to protect himself from Clark…  
  
“Can I have that back.” Lex’s unamused voice cut sharply into him.  
  
“Lex…” Clark turned in surprise to see Lex standing dripping and naked before him. Lex snatched it with his right hand and fixed it to his stump quickly without looking Clark in the eye.  
  
“I’ll be back early today,” Lex announced, grabbing a towel and walking away as he quickly dried himself off.  
  
“You shower quick.”  
  
“I don’t have a lot to do in the shower.” He wrapped the towel around his waist and was gone. Clark closed his eyes. Was this supposed to be so hard?  
  
Clark tried unsuccessfully to find places for his stuff until noon then called the office to see if Lex had left for the penthouse yet. His secretary informed Clark that he’d abruptly gone on location to a lab in Canada and wouldn’t be back until much later that evening. He put the phone back on the hook, walked calmly out to the balcony, and decided to fly over to Chloe’s apartment before he broke anything too expensive in frustration.  
  
Chloe came home wet from the rain and looked into two sets of puppy dog eyes, as Clark sat on the floor scratching his dog’s ears. “Let me change, then you can tell me what happened, okay?”  
  
She slipped out of her heels and padded towards her bedroom quickly. Clark sighed heavily waiting on her, and after a moment she came out in a white t-shirt and what looked like a pair of Mercy’s jeans.  
  
“Was it hard moving in with Mercy?” He asked immediately. Chloe walked over to the small kitchen and started hunting tea bags.  
  
“Well, she moved in here with me. I’d been settled here in Gotham for a while when we decided to move in, and this place has rent control. So… you’d have to ask her, I guess. What do you mean by hard?”  
  
“I mean…” Clark watched his dog trot over to Chloe. He was a brown collie and lab mix with large white paws, who he had picked out from the local shelter. Saving the world on a regular basis got you love from the populace, but it was still lonely coming home to a one-room apartment every night. Clark had decided to let him stay with the girls for a little while until he was settled at Lex’s place. Chloe patted the dog’s head and put on the teakettle. “Did you guys fit together right away?”  
  
Chloe turned to him with a faintly alarmed expression. “You should go easy on Lex if you don’t fit. He’s only human.”  
  
“What? NO. No, I don’t mean sex!!” Clark put his hands over his reddening face. Chloe leaned back and poked him with her toe and looked concerned.  
  
“Baby. What is it then?”  
  
“None of my things fit with Lex’s things. Everything in his apartment is in perfect order. Even that cat of his fits in perfectly. I don’t know that _I’ll_ fit into his life.”  
  
She sighed and sat next to him on the floor. “Give it some time. Look, Mercy and I… well, no, I guess we didn’t fit at first. But when she moved in, we found places for her things together. We talked about it before she came, you know? And we picked out that couch and some sheets together. Our schedules didn’t mesh perfectly right away, but she had been staying over here a lot anyway, so…” She shrugged. “You two just need to talk this out. Did you have a fight?”  
  
“No. I… he got mad at me this morning. He didn’t say anything, but he got mad.”  
  
She frowned, clearly demanding more information.  
  
“He was in the shower. I came in to surprise him.”  
  
A light, knowing smile touched Chloe’s lips.  
  
“Then I found his prosthetic on the sink.”  
  
The smile dropped.  
  
“And he caught me looking at it.”  
  
“God, Clark,” she whispered.  
  
He threw his hands in the air. “I know. I’m an idiot!”

“He’s not mad at you. I think…” She rubbed his shoulder a little. “Don’t you think he was probably just mad in general?”  
  
“Maybe?”  
  
“Relax. When he gets home, apologize and don’t demand anything from him. Say, ‘I’m sorry I got in your space this morning’ or something like that. He’ll understand. Lex is crazy about you, and he always has been, but he’s been through such a hard time with the cancer, and it wasn’t _that_ long ago.”  
  
“You think he’s just still sensitive about it?”  
  
“ _And_ it could still come back. I’m sure the whole thing freaks him out. He can’t drive his cars the way he used to. He can’t play the piano. He can’t do mundane things like tie his shoes with two hands! It’s a big change, and it’ll take some getting used to.”  
  
Clark nodded.  
  
“Just don’t make him feel like a freak about it.”  
  
“I won’t!”  
  
Chloe stood to take the tea off the burner. “I know you won’t mean to. I trust that… you know, _really_. You guys have been through so much. You’ll get over this bump. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, has it?”  
  
“No. And I thought Lex was the impatient one.” Clark stood and opened the cupboard to get them some snacks to go with the tea.  
  
“Rubbing off on each other already.”  
  
“When did you and Mercy start getting…?”  
  
“Horizontal?”  
  
Clark dropped a package of biscuits on the counter. “Why is everything sex with you!”  
  
Chloe laughed. “We experienced a little 'lesbian' bed death about three months ago, so you could say we think about sprinkling in enough spice kind of a a lot. But honestly, between our jobs and her ‘evening activities’ life is never boring. Although, we do finish each other’s sentences. It creeps out Bruce like you wouldn’t believe. Which is, admittedly, mostly why we do it.”  
  
“You are evil.”  
  
“All the more reason you should be talking to Mercy, and I should be talking to Lex.” She poured the tea and shook a little. “Brr. Then again, you should be talking to Lex more than any of the previously mentioned talkings. When are you going to be taking the mutt over?”  
  
“I’m not sure. I’ll ask Lex when a good time will be. He gives a weird vibe when I mention it, though.”  
  
“I don’t blame him. Remember how Shelby didn’t like him? And how the last time he came by your parents’ place their new dog- what’s her name?”  
  
“Daisy.”  
  
“She bit his leg. That was crazy. He was just standing there! Lex isn’t exactly a dog person.”  
  
“If he hates dogs so much, why would he let me bring him?”  
  
”Come on, Clark. You know the answer to that one.” She handed him his cup of tea. Clark looked down at it and realized that he did.  
  
“The same reason I put up with that bald bitch he calls a cat.”  
  


***

  
  
When Clark returned to the penthouse, Lex was in the den, eating leftover Chinese and working on his laptop.  
  
“Hi,” Clark said sheepishly as he walked into the room. Lex looked up with interest.  
  
“Where did you go today? I thought you’d be unpacking.”  
  
“I went to Chloe’s.” Clark sat on the floor with Lex. He offered Clark an egg roll on the end of his chopsticks. Clark took it with his teeth and was rewarded with a light twitch of Lex’s lips. This was hard. He could see how Lex had to juggle between the chopsticks and typing. Lex must have been incredibly frustrated learning to do it this way. “Sorry I got in your space this morning.”  
  
Lex frowned a little at the screen. “What? What do you mean?”  
  
“Um.”  
  
Lex regarded him quizzically, likely playing that morning out in his head. Clark was sorry he mentioned it. But Lex never forgot things? Or was this a game or a test?  
  
He could see when Lex reached the incident in his mind. The light expression of amusement disappeared, and Lex’s face closed. He went back to his work. Then, a moment later, “I’m sorry I’m so oversensitive about that.”

“Uh, I don’t think you’re _over_ sensitive.” Clark scooted behind him and tried to work on his shoulders. “It must have been hard-“  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it, Clark. You are forgiven.”  
  
Clark tilted his head curiously.  
  
“Just, please don’t stare at my deformities from now on. You never used to.”  
  
“Your… Lex you’re not deformed!”  
  
“What doesn’t kill us makes us stranger.”  
  
Clark sighed and tried to wrap his hands around Lex. He was rebuffed and pushed to the side. He opened his mouth to protest, and Lex deftly shoved another egg roll inside. Clark ate it sulkily. Lex was pretty swift for a guy who used to be a lefty. Though Clark remembered Lex shooting with his right hand before. He was dying to ask about that but figured it was better to just change the subject. He grabbed the sweet and sour pork and a pair of chopsticks. Lex must have figured he was coming home, if he heated this up. Lex didn’t eat pork.  
  
“So, um, when can I bring Wonton over?”  
  
“They’re by the extra sauce.”  
  
Clark actually grabbed the box containing them and offered one to Lex, who bit it delicately out of his fingers. “I was talking about my dog.”  
  
Lex stopped chewing and got… well it was such a strange look. He set down his chopsticks and reached for the water he had sitting beside his laptop. After taking a long drink, he said, “The dog’s name is _WONTON_?”  
  
“Uh, yeah. Wonton-El.”  
  
Lex rolled his eyes.  
  
“What?” Clark said.  
  
“Of _course_ it is.”  
  
“Well, we can’t all name our pets after Roman emperors. Augustine Constantine Caligula-“  
  
“Maybe I _should_ have named the cat Caligula.”

Clark could hear the wry smirk in Lex's voice. “He’s… a _sweetie_.”

“Don’t lie, Clark. You’re horrible at it.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“So what?”  
  
“So when can I bring Wonton over?” Clark could feel Lex stiffen. He took a deep breath.  
  
“Maybe we should get some of your things unpacked first, hm?”  
  
“Uh, yeah. About that.”  
  
“Yes?” Lex shut his laptop and turned around so he was snuggled between Clark’s legs face to face.  
  
“Um.”  
  
Lex seemed to be getting impatient. Clark wondered if he wanted to touch on another touchy subject. Maybe Chloe would be right. Maybe he wouldn’t mind Clark’s clutter amongst the neat… pristine….  
  
And now Lex was unbuttoning his shirt. Clark beamed like a schoolboy.  
  
“I’ll get to it tonight.”  
  
What a glorious christening it was.


	2. Chapter 2

 Clark did put away what he needed out of his boxes and shoved the rest into a closet. He didn’t want a fight, and the sooner his old family meshed with the new family, the better.  
  
“I have Auggie locked in his new room,” Lex announced, walking out into the foyer. Clark stood there with Wonton on a tightly held leash.  
  
“You sure this will work?”  
  
“No, but it’s what the vet advised.” He moved forward slowly, crouched down to the dog’s level, and extended his hand.  
  
Wonton growled. Clark flinched. His dog had never been aggressive before.  
  
“Great," Lex deadpanned. "He loves me.”  
  
“Give him time to get used to you.”   
  
Lex sighed and waited. Clark let the leash go a little bit slack. Wonton put his ears down and refused to go near Lex.  
  
“Maybe Wonton and _I_ should have our dinners on the opposite sides of a door…”  
  
“Lex.” Clark let the leash go. The dog backed up. “Well, maybe not a bad idea.”  
  
Clark knelt down beside him and started to scratch Wonton’s ears. “C’mon, boy. Lex won’t hurt you. He’s my friend. I bet you can smell me on him.”  
  
“That’s probably very comforting to a dog,” Lex commented sarcastically.  
  
“Makes you my mate.”  
  
“Maybe if I were carrying puppies-“  
  
“Stop.” Clark crooned into his dog’s ear for a bit longer, trying to get him to relax. Eventually, Wonton began stepping gingerly forward. Clark stayed close to him and watched his love and his dog interacting. Wonton moved so slowly. Clark could see Lex pushing back his impatience. Wonton sniffed.  
  
“How’s that, boy?” Lex said in a very low, even voice. His eyes darted up to Clark’s nervously. Clark nodded encouragingly, and Lex continued to wait. Wonton finished sniffing him and trotted back to Clark without another look back. Clark frowned apologetically. “It’s more than I expected.”  
  


***

  
  
Lex wiped his brow and looked in the refrigerator for his morning juice while he discussed the closing of this deal from hell.   
  
“Just make sure you have everything in order for the meeting. I want this done.” Lex glared at the contents of the refrigerator, which somehow to spite him did not consist of orange juice. “I don’t mind much about that… no.”  
  
Clark came in and sleepily rubbed his eyes. For a boy who had been forced to get up at the asscrack of dawn throughout his childhood, Clark certainly seemed to sleep in most of the time. Well, in comparison to Lex, who started almost every day at 5:00 am. That was, on days when he went to bed at all.  
  
Clark tottered over and tried to grab Lex around the waist. Lex twisted away.  
  
”Not now. No… not you. Just get those files together. I’ll have a last look at everything when I come back in.”  
  
“Haven’t you been to work yet?” Clark frowned. He opened the refrigerator, looked inside, made a “hmphing” sound, then blurred before Lex’s eyes. Lex sighed and tried to wrap up his phone call. Clark was back just as he turned it off with a bag of groceries. “Did you come home last night, Lex?”  
  
“Did you get juice?” Lex peeked inside the bag. Clark heaved a little trying to hold back his anger.  
  
“Yes. I got juice. When is this deal over?”  
  
“This afternoon. Thank _God_.” Lex shook his head as he plucked out the juice and moved to pour himself a glass.

Clark started putting away the groceries. “You can’t not sleep, Lex. It’s going to make you crazy.”  
  
“I need to get this done.”  
  
Clark stood behind him again and put a tentative hand at his love’s hip. Lex grimaced at Clark’s hesitance and grabbed Clark’s big arm and pulled it around himself.   
  
“I know.”  
  
“So what are you going to do about it?” Lex asked.  
  
“How often do you put your health in danger?”  
  
Clark nosed the bump on the back of Lex’s head. He remembered a time when that used to make Lex mad, when he touched it or even looked at it or mentioned it. Clark hadn’t realized at the time that it felt intimate to Lex to let people molest his scalp. Now he seemed to move into the movement, to enjoy it. “Point. But… fate of the world.”  
  
“This is important.” Lex bristled.  
  
“Don’t, babe. I’m not saying it’s not.” He made gentle kisses along the back of his neck. Lex seemed too calm. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“I’m fucking exhausted, and there was no juice when I went looking for breakfast. However, Superman fetched some for me, so… I’m better now. Saved the day.”  
  
“Juice is breakfast? I’m going to have to take you down to the farm for a _real_ breakfast.”  
  
“Shotgun shells aren’t part of my diet.”  
  
“Aw.” He maneuvered Lex around a little bit, careful to leave him room to pull away if he wanted. Lex didn’t seem so very angry. Mostly tired and annoyed. Clark gave him a gentle kiss, and Lex kissed back hungrily.   
  
“When this deal is through, we’re going to have sex for three hours.”  
  
“Three hours, huh?”  
  
“If you can last that long.” Lex grinned. He gave Clark’s ass a squeeze and headed into the bedroom to get his suit.   
  
“I’ll conserve my strength!” Clark hummed to himself as he went about preparing his breakfast. Less stress for Lex was good for them all. They had been trying to give Wonton and Auggie “visits” but the two of them seemed determined not to like one another. Somehow Auggie kept escaping his room. That was a smart, if evil, cat.  
  
“MOTHERFUCKER!!”  
  
Clark was in the room before his heart made another pump. Lex was standing beside the chair next to their bed with the most revolted expression on his face. He looked like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin.  
  
“What’s wrong?!” Clark rushed to his side, and Lex brushed him off as he backed away from the chair. Clark looked over and saw Lex’s green Armani draped over the side. There was a rip along the sleeve and side and… drool?  
  
“Your _animal_ ate my Armani!”  
  
“What? Auggie’s the one on the bed!”  
  
Lex turned around and looked at Auggie who was tilting his head and looking at them with an expression that seemed a bit surprised and annoyed that he’d been disturbed. Lex looked back at Clark. “Auggie couldn’t get that much _saliva_ on _anything_. So either your dog did it, or _you_ have a lot of explaining to do!”  
  
Wonton picked that moment to bound into the room and start slobbering on Clark’s hand. Auggie jumped to the night stand and hissed loudly. Lex moved to calm his cat, but not quickly enough, and feeling defensive, Auggie scratched him across the face.  
  
“Clark, put that thing away!”  
  
“He’s not a thing! Jesus, Lex! He’s a dog! He’s going to chew things!” Clark tried to restrain Wonton, who was now barking happily at Lex and Auggie. He wanted to play. Lex and Auggie most certainly did not want to play.  
  
“Hold him!” Lex ordered. He managed to scoop Auggie up in his arms and left to put him back in his room. Clark knelt to Wonton.  
  
“Come on, you can’t be doing things like that, huh? You’re making Lex mad, okay? You know not to chew things! What’s wrong with you?”  
Wonton barked and looked over to the ruined suit proudly.  
  
“Don’t be mean,” Clark admonished. Lex stormed back in, snapping a latex glove onto his hand with his teeth and carrying some cleaning supplies under one arm. Oh, god the glove.  
  
Wonton growled at him. Lex whipped around and gave him such a fierce glare that Wonton fled the room whimpering. Clark drew nearer, afraid that Lex might start swiping at him like the cat. When he met the man’s eye, however, Lex’s face was completely blank as he gingerly picked up the suit and stuffed it in a plastic bag as well as he could one-handed.  
  
Clark had been about to yell back at him for getting so angry at his dog over something so _dumb_ , but instead he felt sheepish and guilty and it showed. Auggie had yet to shred anything. Lex was controlling his pet. Clark wasn’t. “Your… face, Lex.”  
  
“It’ll heal. There is saliva in my room. Dog saliva in my bedroom, and it must be cleaned up,” he told Clark quickly.  
  
Clark tried not to let the internal grimace at that sentiment show. Lex had been living alone for a long time. He wasn’t used to mess. “Let me. I’ll clean it up. You have to get back to work.”  
  
Lex almost looked torn. As through he needed to make this right and proper _himself_.   
  
“Babe, let me take care of it. My dog, my mess. I’m sorry he wrecked your suit.”  
  
”I can buy another,” he muttered.  
  
“Better disinfect that scratch.” Clark had to take the cleaning supplies out of Lex’s hand. He kissed him on the brow and jerked his head in the direction of the bathroom. Lex stood stiffly for a moment then relented and went to the bathroom.   
  
“One of his Soft Paws came off.” Lex explained, dabbing the scratch on his cheek with alcohol. “I fixed the tip. I’ll call Domovoi about cleaning the bedroom.”  
  
“I’ve got it.”  
  
”He’ll go over it when you’re through. Clean the whole room.”  
  
Clark skewed his brows and shook his head. Lex must have spent all of those years alone honing his OCD. He'd known that Lex had high anxiety, stemming from an unstable childhood and various and sundry traumas, but so far, Lex had managed to hide this aspect of it from Clark.

“I’m sure. How’s the scratch?”  
  
“It’ll be fine.” Lex came out and headed to the bureau. Clark stepped towards him, and Lex stepped backward. The drool. He was contaminated. Clark sighed.  
  
“I’ll put this in the trash and take a shower.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Do my lips offend you?”  
  
Lex turned from the bureau, confused. Clark set the bag aside, lifted into the air, and kissed Lex’s lips without touching him anywhere else. Lex flushed, hotly, embarrassed.  
  
Now Clark felt guilty again. Why couldn’t he get this right? He had navigated Lex’s moods better when they were enemies. “If you’re gone before I get out of the shower, have a good meeting, okay? You’ve worked hard for this.”  
  
Lex nodded briskly, having already turned back to the bureau to pick out another suit.  
  


***

  
  
Rather than get started on their sex-a-thon, when Lex returned home that evening, he mostly wanted to sleep. Domovoi hadn’t finished “disinfecting” their bedroom yet, so Lex shucked off his work clothes and trudged to the sitting room where there was a comfortable sofa. He was so happy that the deal was over he started humming Bach to himself and shimmied and grooved down the hallway. If only they had clubs with modernized classical music. Hm. Now there was a thought.  
  
“Gotcha!” Clark grabbed him from behind. “Naked Lex, all mine.”  
  
“Naked Lex very tired.”  
  
“I figured you would be.” Clark flipped him up into his arms and carried him into the sitting room. “So… I have a pillow and blanket, all fresh from the laundry. And I took an extra shower after work. Perfect for snuggling and recuperation from work.”  
  
Lex rubbed his brow. Clark sighed. “Okay, what am I doing wrong?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Have you turned into a woman lately? What is wrong with you?” Clark dropped him onto the couch.  
  
“That’s… great, Clark. Your mother would love your respectful attitude towards women.”   
  
“You’re telling me that nothing is wrong when something is obviously wrong. You’ve never been the passive aggressive one.” Clark sat on the arm of recliner.  
  
“You asked what _you_ were doing wrong. I assured you that _you_ are doing nothing wrong. You’re fucking perfect.” Lex grabbed the soft, white clothes laid out for him and began to put them on without looking at Clark. Clark slowly moved to the couch. When Lex didn’t protest, Clark sat beside him and started arranging pillows.  
  
“Are you mad at me about this morning?”  
  
Lex turned his head and stared at him. “What did you do this morning?”  
  
“My dog chewed your Armani.”  
  
“Yes. But _you_ didn’t chew my Armani. Why would I be angry at you?”  
  
“Um.”  
  
“You didn’t let him out, did you?”  
  
“Um. Well…”   
  
Lex sighed. “Nothing to be done about it now. I saw Auggie as I came in. They’re out now?”  
  
“Uh… seem to be.”  
  
Lex rubbed his legs. “I don’t know that it’s wise to just let them out. Not because… they don’t know each other well yet.”  
  
“They seem to be tolerating one another. Auggie hides where Wonton can’t reach. And Wonton doesn’t _usually_ chew things. I don’t know what’s got into him.”  
  
Lex’s expression was dark and menacing. Until he yawned loudly. Clark couldn’t help himself; he wrapped Lex up into a cuddly bear hug.

Lex leaned into him. “How about we talk about this after I’ve slept?”  
  
“Great idea.” Clark kissed along his head softly and eased Lex down with him. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the two of them. They snuggled under the covers together.  
  
“Mmm.” Lex arched his back into Clark’s body. Clark felt himself getting hard from Lex’s presence and the noises he was making. He started to whisper into Lex’s ear, but he had fallen asleep already. Devil. Clark lay there with him, stroking his soft scalp, until he began to nod off himself.  
  
They both awoke abruptly to barking and yowling. Then there was howling from Lex and growling from Wonton, and before Clark knew it, both he and the dog were shut out of the room as Lex coddled his precious cat.  
  
“You’re a cock-blocker, you know that?” Clark said to his dog. Wonton just looked up at him with a big doggy grin on his face. The same one that said, “I almost caught the rat!” Clark scratched his ears a little and then pulled him back to his room. Wonton kept whining and complaining and scratching at the door with his newly plastic tipped nails. “I’m sorry, boy, but you can’t hurt that cat!”  
  
Clark returned to the room and knocked hesitantly. “I put Wonton away.”  
  
Lex appeared after a few moments, still hugging that unsightly beast, and said, “You sound like you’re taking care of leftovers.” Clark grinned at the joke. Lex was not smiling, though. At least he was trying. “You can come in. He cannot.”  
  
“He’s in his room. I promise.”  
  
Lex stepped back from the door. “He attacked my cat.”  
  
“He’s a dog. He was just playing.”   
  
“Auggie has _heart problems_. ‘Playing’ like that could kill him.” Lex laid back on the couch and let the cat curl up next to him.   
  
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have made sure he was back in his room.”  
  
“S‘okay,” Lex muttered. Clark tried to climb onto the couch with Lex but Auggie hissed a little as he approached. Lex was already fast asleep again. Every time Clark tried to come near, the megalomaniacal cat swiped at him. He was afraid the commotion would wake Lex, so he just left to change into his suit and do some early patrolling.  
  
Auggie looked at him smugly. Great. Another cock-blocker.  
  


***

  
  
It was hard to believe her to be the scruffy creature Lex had pulled out of the proverbial gutter one night when she’d by-passed his security and stolen his favorite car. Her hair was still short, but coiffed gracefully with a part to the side. Her clothes were crisply ironed, probably Chloe’s doing. A dark blue suit made her complexion even more striking and her large, round eyes darker. Their hazel had always been rich, golden and imposing. Their shape could have let themselves to innocent expressions, but she never used them for that purpose. In dark colors, she looked like a demon, although gorgeous. Lex had always dressed her in unrelieved black when she was in his employ. Lex had a penchant for collecting strays.  
  
“You clean up pretty well, Mercy.”  
  
Mercy lifted her chin and her glass. “To seeing the value beneath the surface of things.”  
  
Chloe smiled and put her hand on Mercy’s leg. She lowered her head a bit and grinned. “The question is: how did you manage to clean up Clark so well?”   
  
Clark bowed his lips and shook his head at her as though dumbfounded. “Lex showed me this thing… they call it a comb.”  
  
“How does Lex know what a comb is?” Mercy laughed.

Lex curved his lips slightly. “I know of many things in _theory_.”   
  
Mercy and Lex began to discuss business. She was set up in Gotham currently trying to take care of LexCorp’s dealings on the east coast. It was tricky to keep business moving over there without stepping on Wayne Industries’ toes, but Mercy was sharp and slick, and working with Batman at night helped her case where collaboration was concerned.  
  
“Oh, darn it.” Clark turned his head. “I have to go.”  
  
“The restroom’s over there, farm boy,” Mercy said. “Oh, _oh_. You need help?”  
  
Clark narrowed his eyes. “Probably not. It’s a fire. I’ll beep you if it’s anything else.”  
  
Clark hurried outside to change in the limo. Lex swirled the wine in his glass and looked up at the girls.

Chloe shrugged. “Welcome to the bulk of my teenage years. At least you know where he is.”  
  
Lex rubbed the side of the glass with his thumb and looked faintly worried.  
  
“He’ll be fine, boss,” Mercy said, creasing one brow. Lex smiled a little. She always called him that, even though she knew they were on a familiar basis.  
  
“I think it’s hard for you to understand. Your significant other isn’t out there deliberately putting himself in danger every day.”  
  
“Maybe not in a costume. I bet Clark worries about you sometimes too,” Chloe pointed out.  
  
“No doubt. I don’t get in as much trouble as I used to, though.”  
  
Chloe chuckled. “I remember a time when he was saving your butt every week.”  
  
“Lex doesn’t need people to save his ass,” Mercy argued.

Lex shrugged. “When I was younger… before you met me, I was a bit of an idiot when it came to taking care of myself.”  
  
“It didn’t help that every mutant in Kansas and alien that swung by our solar system seemed to be gunning for him. Between you and Lana, you sure kept Clark in shape.” Chloe grinned.   
  
“Can’t have a fat Superman.” Mercy laughed. Lex nodded and poked at his dinner with his fork. After about twenty minutes, he knew Clark wouldn’t be making it back for dinner, and he might have to stay with the girls or rent a room. And here he thought he would be the absent one in the relationship. Lex didn’t mind so much, actually, but his heart tightened whenever he knew Clark was out there by himself.  
  
Invulnerable didn’t mean immortal.  
  
Lex finally breathed a sigh of relief when Clark ran up to them as they walked down the streets of Gotham. Lex took his arm without a word and smiled faintly. Little moments like this calmed him and made him think this arrangement might not fall apart like it had with everyone else he’d let into his life.  
  


***

  
  
Clark came home to the sound of yelling. Lex was going fucking ballistic. He came into the bedroom to see Lex grabbing his dog by the scruff of his neck.  
  
“What the hell is your problem?” Clark yelled before he could think. He grabbed Lex and tossed him aside. Lex landed hard against the wall and looked up at him with wide angry eyes. Clark pinned him back with a fierce glower. “Don’t touch my dog!”  
  
”Clark-“  
  
“God, Lex, why can’t you get along with anyone but that _fucking_ hideous cat of yours?” Clark demanded, picking Wonton up and storming out.  
  
“Clark!” Lex ran out into the hall. Then looked around the penthouse. Auggie followed him, mewing questioningly. Clark was gone. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”  
  
Lex leaned against the wall and got out his cell phone to call him. Clark wasn’t answering. Lex looked around trying to decide what to do. He went to the cabinet for his latex gloves, opened the box with one hand, and pulled the glove on with his teeth.  
  
He headed to the room where Wonton had chewed his prosthetic hand to uselessness and began to clean.  
  


***

  
  
The Kents looked to one another in surprise as they heard a car drive up. Jonathan heaved his old bones up from the couch and went outside to see a Lamborghini there.   
  
“Uh… Martha? We got company.”   
  
She came up beside him. “Lex?”  
  
The man stepped out of the car and staggered. Then stretched his legs. When he straightened and started to walk towards them, the end of his left arm hidden in his pocket, Martha could see the strain on his face. He was worried. Distraught, in spite of the smile plastered on for their sake. “Jonathan, something’s wrong.”  
  
“Yeah, hell’s frozen over,” Jonathan muttered. Martha gave him a look and headed outside to meet Lex.  
  
“Hey, there. Long time no see. How are you doing?”  
  
“Have you seen Clark?” Lex asked abruptly. “I wouldn’t bother you but… he’s not answering his phone and…”  
  
“Oh my.” Martha raised a hand to her chest. “How long has he been missing?”  
  
”He’s not missing. I just don’t know where he went.”  
  
Jonathan stepped up and frowned deeply. “What now? So, nothing happened when he was out flying? What is it then?”  
  
“We…” Lex’s face was a blank mask again. “Fought. I went out to talk to him but you know how he does. He was gone before I even got off the floor. And he’s not answering the cell. I’ve left five messages already, but…” He looked down. “Sorry to bother you.”  
  
He started to walk away but Martha caught his shoulder. “Honey, you don’t have to go! You look tired. Why don’t you come in here and wait awhile? I was just about to get started on dinner.”  
  
“No, you don’t need to do that, I’ll be fine. I’ll just head back home.”

Lex gave a tight fleeting smile, and Jonathan felt like a complete ass. Clark had told him how uncomfortable Lex felt around them. This was just stupid.  
  
“You kidding? You drove three hours out here and y’gonna drive three hours back?”  
  
Lex looked off against the horizon. “I could stay the night at the castle.”  
  
“Or y’could stay here.” Jonathan ran Lex’s words over his mind. He could see a yellowish mark where something had just healed on his face and had noticed the slight limp and the way he was holding his shoulder. “What the hell do you mean you got up off the floor? Why the hell were you on the floor?”  
  
“Jonathan, what-?” Martha looked between them.  
  
“You hurt? What happened?”   
  
Lex stepped back skittishly, and Jonathan looked even angrier. Lex had straightened his back and looked very alert.

The old man tried to calm his voice. “You can tell us, Lex.”  
  
Lex checked his cell phone again. No messages. Fuck that Clark. Lex shrugged. “Clark pulled me to the side, and I fell. That’s all. I’m fine.”  
  
“Good then. Come on in.” Jonathan walked behind him and pushed him a little.   
  
Lex’s confusion was apparent as he looked at Jonathan. It was hard to see Mr. Kent as protective of him after all of these years. “Oh, wait. Sorry, I left Auggie in there.”  
  
Lex turned and jogged back to his car.   
  
“Auggie?” Martha asked. Her mouth went from a circle of surprise to a smile. “We finally get to meet the little dictator of the apartment.”  
  
Lex came up from the car seat carrying the black, irritated cat. He slammed the door shut, and Auggie clung to him, pitifully meowing in protest of the new environment.  
  
“You brought the cat?”  
  
“I was holding him when I got in the car. I didn’t think I’d end up here. I wasn’t… really thinking. I just wanted to find him and explain. Oh, um.” Lex shook his head apologetically to Martha who seemed to want to pet the cat. She didn’t even blink at his stump. Of course the mother of Superman probably took the freakish in stride. “He doesn’t really like people.”  
  
She held out her hand, and Auggie sniffed it. Then leaned his head into her hand, begging her to pet him.  
  
“That has _never_ happened,” Lex remarked in astonishment.  
  
She stroked her fingers gently along his head as they walked into the house. “Oh, I think he can tell when people don’t like the way he looks. Poor dear. He’s just very sensitive. People must mistake him for being antisocial.”  
  
“I think that’s true. He likes Clark, but he also likes to aggravate him. He gets jealous.”  
  
“Clark? I’m sure. Auggie gets to be close to you all he time.”  
  
Lex broke into a grin. “I meant Auggie of Clark.”  
  
“Maybe both ways. It’s hard opening your life up when you’ve been alone for a long time.”  
  
“I think Clark is a little more used to being with other people than we are.”  
  
Jonathan shook his head as the three of them went inside. “So what happened? Why’d you fight? And why’s Clark so upset that he can’t answer the damn phone and has you this worried?”  
  
Lex came inside and let Martha hold Auggie. The cat was a bit freaked out, but he seemed to like her. “I yelled at his dog.”  
  
Jonathan furrowed his brow. “I’m not getting this pet thing. Round the farm, we just feed the animals. They tend to themselves.”  
  
“When you live in the city, it’s different,” Martha explained. “He’s mad at you for yelling at Wonton? Really?”  
  
Lex tried to think about it. “I yelled at him, and… I took him by the scruff of his neck, because that’s what the books tell you to do to get a dog to obey. We have dominance problems. He growls at me when I walk by, and he’s tried to nip me a few times.” Lex groaned. “I can’t believe we’re fighting over a dog.”  
  
“Nah. I think Wonton is probably growling at you because he’s afraid. I dunno why it is, but I’ve never seen a dog not a little bit scared of you, Lex. Or maybe he’s feeling protective of Clark.” Jonathan walked into their circle. “But he can’t be allowed to snap at you, no matter what. Clark’s gotta train him better.”  
  
Lex shrugged.  
  
“Why do you think Clark got so upset about it?” Martha sat on the couch and let Auggie curl in her lap. He started to purr. “It’s not like him to throw you around, even if he is upset.”  
  
“He was just trying to separate us.” Lex thought of the times when Clark had thrown him around… best not to discuss their sex life in front of the parents.  
  
“He thought you were gonna hurt the dog,” Jonathan surmised.   
  
“I wouldn’t hurt his dog.” Lex asserted. His hands were in his pockets again. “I was angry, though.”  
  
“Wonton snap at you again?”  
  
“No, he…” Lex’s cheeks reddened a little. “He chewed my hand.”  
  
“He bit you?” Martha asked in alarm.  
  
“No… the prosthetic. I lost my temper.” Lex sighed. “Yeah, I can see where Clark might have thought I’d lose it. I can seem a bit Jekyll and Hyde when I’m angry.”  
  
Martha shook her head. “I certainly can see why you’d be angry. Maybe we can give Wonton a little more training. You want to get him chewing on things he knows that are his.”  
  
“We’ll see if Clark comes back first.”  
  
“Lex, Clark won’t leave you over a spat like this,” Martha assured him. Lex shrugged, and the look of hopelessness on his face made her want to cry. “Why don’t I start dinner, hm? Sit down and relax. It’s been a long day for you.”  
  
She tried to ease Auggie out of her lap and received a disgruntled hiss. She raised her hands to the air in surrender. Lex rolled his eyes. “Don’t let him intimidate you. He has plastic caps on his claws. Just stand up, and he’ll be compelled to make other lounging plans.”  
  
Martha followed his advice and stood. Auggie scrambled off and looked annoyed.  
  
“Maybe y’should’ve bought a friendlier cat,” Jonathan suggested acerbically. Lex sat down and looked at Auggie expectantly. The cat sniffed indignantly then crawled into his lap as though he were doing him a favor.  
  
“I didn’t buy him.”  
  
“No?” Martha asked, brushing off her pants.  
  
“No, he was a gift.”  
  
“Nice gift.” Jonathan laughed. Lex shrugged again and meticulously stroked the cat.  
  
“From some of my employees.” He looked up to answer the questions in their eyes. “A foreign company was about to buy out this small family owned business. It had grown pretty large and losing it would mean most of the town would be out of a job. I upped the bid, and after I bought the company, I let everyone keep their jobs, with a few LexCorp professionals hanging around to help them find ways to increase productivity without laying anyone off or killing themselves. It’s an ideal situation for a buy out. Anyway, when I came to visit… uh… they decided to get me a gift, so everyone at the company put in a little money for this bald cat. Brought him out in this basket with a froofy purple bow on him.”  
  
“Oh my.” Martha looked as she realized exactly how badly Lex might have taken that.  
  
“Whoever came up with the idea must have thought they were brilliant. Anyway, I was standing there, probably flaring my nostrils or something equally as terrifying, when one of the women made a somewhat audible comment to the effect that she wasn’t surprised I didn’t want an antisocial hairless freak in my life.” Lex smiled slightly and rubbed Auggie’s nose. The cat leaned into his finger. “What can I say? I felt for the poor little guy. Attractiveness is overrated anyway.”  
  
“That’s so sweet,” Martha gushed.  
  
“I don’t know that it’s sweet,” Lex protested. But she was already grinning, as she went into the kitchen.

Jonathan snorted “You’re destroyed your image with her, mister. That woman loves her strays.”  
  
“I’m fond of strays myself.”  
  


***

  
  
When Clark was finished walking and playing with Wonton, he took him back to the penthouse and locked him in his room. Wonton complained a bit but was too tired to romp around much more.   
  
“Lex…?” Clark called. He’d left so abruptly. He hoped Lex wasn’t sitting alone, drinking and upset. He should have calmed down; when he thought about it, he’d overreacted. But Clark had been so angry he didn’t want to start yelling things he couldn’t take back. Lex sure seemed mad. Clark wondered what Wonton had chewed this time.  
  
“Uh… Lex?” Clark started going from room to room. Lex wasn’t there. Where would he go? Gotham maybe. He didn’t really have any friends close by. Clark pulled out his cell phone and checked his voicemail. There were six messages. Oh, fuck.  
  
He pressed the ‘ok’ button.  
  
 _”Clark, where the fuck did you go?? I’m sorry, just come back and we can… talk about this?”  
  
“Clark, it’s me again. You know the best way _I_ can think of to handle a fight is to run away… I’m sorry, just please call me. I worry about you when you’re out, and… Just please call me?"  
  
“Clark, for fuck’s sake, why aren’t you answering? Are you okay? I didn’t… Did I hurt the dog? I thought getting him by the neck wouldn't hurt a dog that size… Is he okay?” A car horn blared. _

Lex had been out looking for him. Clark covered his mouth and sat down to listen to the rest of the messages.  
  
 _”Clark, please answer your phone. Please forgive me. I’ve been trying; I promise that I have. I just… it’s hard… I’ve been alone for so long. I know I can be a freak, but I’m trying to put that part of me away… Please. Call me.”  
  
“This is getting ridiculous. Call me, Clark. We can work this out like reasonable adults. Don’t let me think you’re laying dead somewhere.”  
  
”I don’t know what else to say. I’m… sorry this didn’t work out. I’m sorry I failed at this. It...” Lex took a shaky breath. “Please, just tell me to my face, okay?”_  
  
Clark listened to the messages again and opened his mouth in horror. He had to find him.  
  


***

  
  
Clark had called Mercy, and Bruce, and to his great embarrassment, Lana, who had talked his ear off and made _insinuations_ about their relationship. God, Lex was going to be so mad that he’d told her they had a fight.   
  
Or he would if he still wanted to be in a relationship with him after this mess. Why hadn’t he just stayed and let Lex explain? Of _course_ he wouldn’t have hurt his dog. Lex loved Clark. He wouldn’t hurt anyone close to him. Clark kept checking back at the apartment, but when it started getting late Clark gave up and decided to head over to his parents’ for some advice. He hoped Pa wouldn’t be too smug about it.  
  
Clark touched down just outside the house and gawked at Lex’s Lamborghini. Lex must have been beyond freaked out. Normally Clark couldn’t drag him here. He almost hesitated before walking into the house. This was going to be bad. He listened inside the house.  
  
“-won’t lie and say I wasn’t worried about you and Clark together after all that fighting,” his father said.  
  
“I won’t either,” Lex admitted dryly. Clark x-rayed the house and saw his mother take Lex’s hand across the table.   
  
“I think we need to all try harder. I’m an old man. But stubbornness is no reason to keep the family apart.”  
  
“Sweetie, no matter what, I want you to believe that you’re welcome here,” his mother pitched in.  
  
Clark decided he couldn’t possibly let Lex worry any longer.  
  
“Um… hey, Ma, Pa,” Clark announced himself as he walked into the house. Auggie came up to him quickly and twined his body around his legs. His parents came out of the kitchen. He could smell the coffee. Lex followed slowly.  
  
“Hey,” Lex said softly. He stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes uncertain. Clark walked up and hugged his mother, then his father, keeping his eyes on Lex.  
  
”Good to see you, son.” Jonathan said. Clark nodded. He looked over at Lex. They locked eyes and couldn’t speak. Lex put his hand behind his head and opened his mouth silently, unsure of what to say.  
  
Finally he spoke, and his voice cracked. “Clark, if you’re going to leave me, please just leave. Don’t draw it out. Don’t think you’re sparing my feelings. It’s worse this way.”  
  
“Come help me with this.” Martha pulled Jonathan into the kitchen.   
  
“I’m not going to leave you! Over a fight? A stupid little fight? A dog?”  
  
“You’ve had one foot out the door since you moved in!”   
  
“You are paranoid and _crazy_. I _love_ you. What makes you think that?”  
  
“Why the _fuck_ haven’t you unpacked?” Lex shook his head and looked agitated. “I don’t understand it. If you didn’t want to be with me, why did you suggest we move in together? Am I that good a fuck?”  
  
“Do _not_ talk about yourself that way. You’re not a fuck. You’re not a freak. You’re not an object. You’re not _deformed_. I… there’s a reason why I haven’t unpacked.”  
  
Lex stared back at him. Then shrugged, at a complete loss.  
  
“Lex, I just… My clothes, my habits, my schedule, my _dog_ … I just don’t fit into your _life_ ”  
  
Lex boggled. He spread his hand in aggravation. “You don’t _fit in my life_? Are you fucking serious? You _are_ my life!”  
  
“I…” Clark flushed at the sudden emotional admission. Lex was usually so subdued about how he felt.  
  
“How do you think I survived _this_?” He held up his stump for effect. Clark flinched.  
  
“You survived that because you were strong,” Clark said emphatically.  
  
Lex shook his head. “I survived because you gave me something to live for. That’s the _only_ reason. You think money and power are what are keeping me tied to this planet? Not a chance.”   
  
Clark closed the space between then and held Lex. “I’m not going to leave you so easily.”  
  
“You have before.”  
  
Clark clutched the back of Lex’s head. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“I’m sorry I’m so crazy that you don’t feel comfortable in the place that is supposed to be your home.” Lex leaned back in his arms so he could look Clark in the face. “I’ve tried to control it, but..."  
  
“Lex, it's not like I don't have my own stuff to adjust to. Just... tell me what I can do to make it better, okay? I don't know anything about how you're handling all of that, and you don't have to tell me, but I kind of feel like I should be part of your coping plan. More than just a prize for surviving."  
  
“I don't particularly like showing that part of me off, but I could try to be more open about it," Lex conceded.  
  
Clark kissed him tenderly, lingering on Lex’s bottom lip.  
  
“Are you ready to come home?”  
  
Lex sighed. “If _he_ ’s ready, I guess.”  
  
“He’s in his room.” Clark took Lex’s hand and led him into the kitchen. “Hey, Ma. Sorry for keeping you guys up late.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. We enjoyed the company.” She smiled. Jonathan put his arm around his wife.  
  
“Don’t be strangers, boys. Be sure to come by for dinner on Sunday, hm, Lex?”  
  
“I uh…” Lex ducked his head and grinned widely. Clark shook him a little bit. “I will. Thank you.”  
  
“So, I guess we’ll fly home.”  
  
“We will not. Do you want a cat on you at 3500 feet?”  
  
Clark laughed. “Doesn’t Auggie like to fly?”  
  
“Auggie doesn’t even like to ride in the car. He flattens his ears and yowls the whole way.”  
  
“Oh, poor little guy!” Martha crooned.  
  
“Are you telling me we have three hours of cat to look forward to?” Clark practically whined.  
  
“Depends on whether you or I are driving.” Lex smirked. Neither the years nor the amputation had slowed Lex’s driving.  
  
Jonathan told them to be careful, and they headed back home. Auggie yowled most of the way, but allowed Clark comfort him a just little bit.  
  


***

  
  
“I’m going to _kill_ you, Superman.” Lex dropped his cell phone on the couch.  
  
Clark looked up from the floor where he was eating assorted pastas from _Aria’s Bistro_ with Chloe and Lois. “What did that bastard do now?”  
  
“He told one of my former rivals that I had a fight with my boyfriend.”  
  
Lois cackled. “What did you do, Smallville?”  
  
“Just a dumb fight. I couldn’t find you. I was worried.”   
  
“Think of calling him, brain trust?” She took a big bite of the alfredo. Clark sneered at her.   
  
”Yes… well. After I got his messages, I felt like such an ass I just wanted to talk to him face to face.” Clark tried not to look too embarrassed. “Actually, it didn’t occur to me to call until I’d been looking awhile.”  
  
Lex sat beside them and put some of the angel hair pasta with pesto sauce on his plate. “We both overreacted. It’s pretty much fine now. Except for psycho-exes calling me incessantly. In fact, we’re going to redecorate.”  
  
Lois laughed so hard she bent over crying. “Oh, god.”  
  
“Shut up!” Chloe exclaimed. “I think this is great.”  
  
“I’m just…” Lois tried to calm herself.  
  
“Spit pasta on my rug and die, Lois.” Lex spoke with ultimate seriousness.  
  
“I’m imagining the plaid wallpaper,” She managed finally. Chloe grabbed a bread stick.  
  
“Not just the wallpaper. The sofa.” She waved the bread stick around and spoke in a cutesy tone. “Little plaid end tables.”  
  
“You’re going to tempt me to do this. I’d make it look good.” Lex pushed the pasta around on his plate.

Clark reached over and stole a forkful of his pesto. ”There will be _no_ plaid room. I hardly ever wear plaid anymore.”

He raised the fork up and held it to Lex’s mouth.  
  
“Oh, kill me now.” Lois curled her lip. She and Chloe both leaned over simultaneously and pretended to gag. Lex looked at them, opened his mouth, wide and took the pasta off the fork. He chewed carefully, raising a napkin to his mouth and wiping facetiously. “Serious. You’re too clean to eat? This place is like a picture of neatness. How do you live with him, Clark? I saw your apartment. You’re a slob.”  
  
“I think it’s cute.” Clark laughed.

Lex pinched his mouth sourly. “I am _not_ cute. I’m stiff and cranky. I’m like a grandpa.”   
  
Clark grabbed him and held Lex closely. “You are not. You flirt with every one you meet, completely unintentionally. You love that damn cat so much it’s ridiculous. You dance naked through the penthouse.”  
  
Lois blinked. “Is that on the record? That’s hot.”  
  
“You’re adorable. Deal with it.” Clark took Lex’s ear in his mouth and sucked on the lobe. Chloe giggled.  
  
“Hey! You two have company!” Lois complained. She seemed more amused than upset, however. Clark pulled away and tried to behave himself, but made them all laugh by making cow eyes at Lex as they ate. Lex encouraged Chloe to tell him about the news in Gotham, and Lois talked a little about the new guy she was dating.  
  
When they’d left, Clark followed Lex to the kitchen to clean up the plates. “You sure you want to redo the penthouse just for me?”  
  
”You live here. I want it to reflect the both of us.” Lex shrugged. Clark elbowed him away from the sink and started to pre-rinse the dishes for him. “The designs I have now, I’ve had them for years, Clark. I was very alone during that time. It’s time for a change.”  
  
“I don’t want to force you to change too much.”  
  
”You had to move to live with me. To out yourself to distract from your other secrets.” Lex took the dishes from Clark and set them in the dishwasher.  
  
“I can’t imagine you guys all living in that cold crappy apartment of mine.”  
  
“We could have found another place together.”  
  
“Asking you to accommodate more people in your life and a change of setting… too much.”  
  
“I don’t know…”  
  
“You’ve been through so many changes already. I think if I took you too far out of your routine, you would get too stressed.”  
  
Lex sighed.  
  
Clark kissed him as he handed him another plate. “I'm serious. Don’t... feel like you have hide the crazy. That’s like… the most fun part about living with someone. I get to know those little parts of you that you hide when you’re trying to lure me in.”  
  
“You want the crazy? Are you serious?”  
  
“You show me yours; I’ll show you mine.” Clark grinned.   
  
“Mine’s bigger than yours,” Lex warned.

Clark pressed his forehead against Lex’s. “Well, I’m pretty secure. I think I can handle that.”  
  
They kissed again and finished the dishes together. Moving back to the sitting room, they bumped one another’s hips and laughed a little bit.  
  
“Should I…” Clark asked. Lex nodded. He moved away from him.  
  
They both let their pets out and headed back to the sitting room. Lex picked up a bottle of wine and two glasses. Clark repositioned the pillows on the floor, and Lex pulled out the swatches and paint chips and curled up between Clark’s legs. Clark spread them out in front of them and looked critically. Auggie came up next to them and sat on the swatches.  
  
“Oh, you nuisance.” Lex pulled the complaining cat into his own lap so they could continue to look over the color schemes and make some decisions about how they were going to change the penthouse.  
  
“I like the blue in the master bathroom,” Clark said. “How many rooms are we going to change?”  
  
“I’m not sure. Whatever we like, I suppose. We need a larger cabinet in the master bathroom, though. For your shaving supplies.”  
  
“And a shower caddy.”  
  
“You’re so complicated. You… hairy freak.”  
  
“Yeah. Me and my freakish hair.”  
  
Lex grinned, flipping through the pages and sipping his wine. After a moment, Wonton came in. He sniffed around the swatch books for a bit then dropped into a pile of soft brown fur, with his head on Clark’s knee. Auggie sniffed at him but turned his head and decided he wasn’t worth his attention.  
  
“I need to get Won some new toys,” Clark muttered. He stroked Lex’s new prosthetic. “So I can get him to stop chewing on important things.”  
  
“I need to learn not to leave things where the dog can chew them.”  
  
“Still.”  
  
“Well, why don’t you get him new toys?”  
  
“Dog slobber.”  
  
“Ugh. Just keep it out of my sleeping space,” Lex conceded. “He has to have toys.”  
  
“See, Wonton? He’s in your corner.” Clark scratched behind his ears.   
  
“He still doesn’t like me.”  
  
“He’ll come around. As soon as he realizes you aren’t replacing him.”  
  
“What exactly do you do with your dog?”  
  
”Ew, Lex.” Clark laughed into his shoulder.  
  
“You know you love me.”  
  
Clark kissed his neck and looked seriously at the swatches. Clark had never designed anything before, but he was sure that Lex would guide him and take his lack of taste into account when he made his suggestions. This was what he had been wanting when they moved in together. Curled up with each other, doing things as a pair, loving each other because of their differences and oddities. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t easy, but it was so wonderful to be able to share themselves with one another.  
  
Clark figured he would really enjoy interior decorating, if it meant he could have more nights like this with Lex.


End file.
